Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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