He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
