Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
