i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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