I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
