I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
His hands were made for my vagina.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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