I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
it glows. i had to have it.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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