Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's blow job season.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
