the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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