so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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