I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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