your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
being pregnant is like rehab
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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