he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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