Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
