I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
