i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
