It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
