I am in a vortex of obligation.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
