I am puke
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
