Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You may now shotgun with the bride
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
