I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
