know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize