He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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