at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
