Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Say something about gay babies.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
