And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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