nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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