He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
