I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
