Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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