ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Found the puke drawer
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
