i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
