Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
