I want to have your abortion
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize