You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
