their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
