She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
