; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
