we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize