Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
