to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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