I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Quick, to the slutcave!
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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