well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I wish I only lived at night.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
