So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
only if we run a train.
done.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
