She is in my trunk
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
