fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
