Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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