I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
