u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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