I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
