32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
