i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
