I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize