well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
