Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
