Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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