Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
