Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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