It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
