On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
