There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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