please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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