After last night, I could never be a politician.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
